General

We all have problems with things, even things that we like

For me, I love the feederism community. And I love the appreciation for people who are on the bigger side

However, one thing that does annoy me at times, is when people see others more as a object/piece of meat, instead of an actual person

Another thing for me, is when people talk ill of people who are skinnier etc etc

Anyone else got some things that annoy them, around the fetish?

Having to buy bigger clothes can be a pain, and actually having to go shopping can be a struggle sometimes, but generally I love the community on here

I've been around in some form or another online, for 20+ years. I remember when SexyMic was new, when Dimensions was more than just a message board (including a page to a mod for the Sims 1 for obese sims), and even FatNats. You can even see my join date here to see how long I've been here.

I doubt I'll ever leave at this point since it's a big part of who I am. That said, there's certain observations I've made that irritate me somewhat and I'm not sure if they'd ever stop being annoying to some degree.

Disclaimer: This is not a generalization, and most users are not described by the following list.

1) Gender/sex distribution is heavily lopsided, though anything that has even a little bit to do with fetish, tends to have this problem as well. I'd guess it's the 1-2% of "keyboard warrior" users who effectively scare off a lot of potential female users. Thus, some (not all) of those who remain are more aloof, meaner, and harder to even start a conversation or make a connection. To be fair, it's hard to blame the portion of users who reacted this way, but it's unfortunate nonetheless. It also means I'm often discouraged from ever reaching out so, I often just don't. I've accepted long ago that I will most likely never meet a girlfriend or future wife this way, so I'm not bitter or angry. Fortunately I've lived in areas where obesity rates are high enough, that I figure I can find someone from the general public. Pro-Tip: Most women don't like being called a cow, piggy, fat sluts, etc. Even the ones who might, it'd only be behind closed doors and after a very high degree of trust in the relationship is establish.

2) It seems most folks I find online into this, are substantially younger than I am. At age 30+, user count seems to drop substantially. I'm just glad I'm not 40+ or 50+. I would guess that it's because in the late 90s, there weren't a lot of good online options and many out there never thought to look it up online. Also because the farther you go back in modern history, the higher the degree of anti-fat sentiment in general. There's nothing inherently wrong with this, but it does mean I may not have much in common. It's funny how something as simple as remembering pulse dialing, having used payphones, an era before GPS, mainstream smartphones, Facebook, Twitter, or even a time before Windows sometimes makes a difference.

3) Some users, particularly female, may assume I only want one thing so I'm dismissed right away. The odds of this increase, the younger the user is. I'm not interested in that sort of thing, and I'm not a "cradle robber" but they might assume anyway. If I talk to someone that young, it would be to ask questions or chat about strictly non-sexual topics. Actually, that's how I approach anyone regardless of age. If it somehow turns intimate and sexual later, cool and I'm not against that, but certainly not right away or overnight. If I might be interested in someone that way, I might try a few slight, mild hints but nothing overt, just to gauge the reaction. If she doesn't bite, no harm no foul.

4) A marked rise in beggars in recent years who just want to try being "models" and want free food or money. The pandemic exacerbated this somewhat, but it was kind of problem even before then. This is against the rules of FF by the way, but I'm talking about the community in general.

5) I almost called this reverse body-shaming but no, no "reverse" about it. The bit about denigrating someone who is very skinny. Or those who say things like how if you don't weigh at least 250 lbs, that you can't possibly be serious.

6) Related to #5... the men who assume that every woman wishes or needs to gain if she's below X weight. As nice as that might sound, it just doesn't work that way. Ultimately, she has to be on board with it and would like to do so, and some don't. Side note: It's just as wrong if it's the other way around, but this is the direction of this dynamic I'm most likely to observe.

7) Kind of related to #1 and #2, but it's a small enough niche that you're still very unlikely to meet anyone who's into this, in person. Or at least someone where you know for a fact he's into it. I don't really believe in long distance relationships for a number of reasons, but that's off-topic for this thread. I live in one of the largest metro areas of America. Even so, there's not that many users who were active and logged in sometime within the last month. Then most of those who are there, are far away from my age range or haven't been online for months. It's a little frustrating, but I've always known it's going to be mostly solitary. There's nothing that can be done about it so no point in moping.

Think I almost met a couple who were possibly into feederism but I couldn't be sure, and I only saw them once, never to be seen again. Of course, you can't just ask about this sort of thing. Still, might have been nice if I could talk

One of the most interesting things to me about feederism is the diversity of it. There are so many different ways to experience and enjoy it: worshipping or shaming, mixing it with other kinks, etc. As much as I enjoy that , I can't stand it when someone insists you share their taste/practice. Examples are folks who ask your limit then insist you want immobility, continue to call you piggy even though you've said barnyard isn't your thing and stuff like that.

People who insist all conversation revolve around fat, eating, etc rather than having actual get to know you conversations bother me. Yes, it's the main reason we're here, but I'm a person too. Also peoples whose conversations end after " hi, how are you? " Really? That's all you messaged for? Why bother?

As much as beggars (no offense to legit models and sexworkers, there is a difference and we should all learn it) are an issue, it's also annoying when people assume every woman on here is one. I have never asked anyone on this or any other feederism site for anything, but have been approached and spoken to as if I had or was about to.

Just writing some of my recent frustration..

How im treated by those who dont have the fetish.
"just because Icey has fat fetish means they cant know whats proper nutrition like" also the worst arguing about BMI not being accurate and getting "it is accurate, fatness will cause knee injury and health issues"
Like yes, to some but weight isnt the only thing that tells whether you are unhealthy or not. Sighs.

Also "ofc you think that is normal, after all you are sick"
To simply put it: people missing the full picture and mocking ur knowledge mostly because you have a certain fetish. 🤷🏻‍♀️

Oh for sure there are things that annoy the hell out of me and can push me away at times.

I love the feedism community, but it has many flaws. A lot of them due to it being almost exclusively existing online.

1) Too much fetishizing of human beings. Yes, we're all here for the fetish, but none of us exist to get others off.

2) A lot of dangerous toxicity towards sw and content creators. Doxxing, harassment, etc. It's unacceptable. Not exclusive to this community, but certainly a consistent issue.

3) Attacking anyone for being thin or wanting/needing to lose weight. I'm okay with keeping fat spaces for fat and I can understand why people get defensive in these situations, but shaming skinny people or even small fats isn't cool. Yes small fats and scammers are a nuisance, but you don't fix that by being shitty to everyone smaller than you.

4) Scammers and catfish. Another one that isn't exclusive to our community, but it is a rampant problem nonetheless. Especially after things like the TikTok incident. I don't want to blame the victims here, but some people are sadly too naive with this stuff sadly. Stop throwing money and thinking with your horny bits and actually know who you're interacting with. Scammers would die down a lot of it wasn't lucrative.



Despite all of the above, I still love this community and am glad I found a place where I belong. We just gotta work together to keep improving it because there are SO MANY wonderful people within it.

Where to begin?
I’ve been on this site for over 2 years and before that I visited to read stories without having a profile. It’s only been the last few months that I’m a more active member.
It’s nice to finally have a space where I can share my thoughts and struggles.
I’ve had many good chats, but my oh my have I had bad ones.
I’m already very picky in who to reply to and who I ignore. Learned that VERY quickly.
Even though I’m bisexual, I mostly chat with men bc they simply are over represented here.
I see lots of them complaining about the lack of women or posting about looking for female feeder/feedees.
Well, you can start by educating your fellow men. Bc more than 80% don’t seem to have any decency and drive women away.
Here are some tips:
- try to start a conversation. What do you try to achieve with just a “hi”? Even if I say “Hi” back, you’ll still have to come up with something to say after that. Just add whatever that is to your Hi, I promise you’ll get a lot more replies.
- try to be more original than “how are you” I know it’s just a curtsy, and it’s fine but just don’t follow up with “had a lot to eat today?” “How’s that belly?” or other variations
- related: if you’ve already send 8 ‘Hi how are you messages’ and you got no reply, maybe it’s time to change tactics or cut your losses
- READ people’s profile. We put info on there for a reason
- Stop using us as sex dolls. I admit that it can be fun to know that you’re arousing someone but please, just say thank you when you finished instead of disappearing or blocking us. You make us feel used and that just makes me want to stop sharing or even deleting my profile
- stop thinking that everyone has the same kink or that you have to power to persuade them. If I told you I’m not into immobility or pig play, don’t tell me I’ll change my mind or keep throwing in pig comments.
- don’t assume that bc you’re aroused, the other person is too. Don’t get mad when we say we don’t feel a connection. Reflect honestly and with you’re brain instead of your d*ck. A shared kink is not enough for most people.
- think about age differences. I get that it’s hard to find people you’re own age group, but if you’re more than double someone’s age, maybe don’t message them or at least make clear that you just want to chat, instead of something sexual. (While we’re all here bc of a kink, not everyone here has the same expectations)
- respect everyone journey. I myself have a history of anorexia and that’s why I am not actively gaining, even though my profile says ‘feedee’ (I tried different labels, but this one is closest to what I want from rp and if I put ‘fat admirer’ I just received a sh*t load of unwanted belly pics from horny dudes that are desperate for female feeders)

Please just, put in some effort to make this a better place and respect people. There is so much potential for our community but toxic behavior drives away so many people.

Sorry for my loooong text block, and thank you to everyone that read through it. I’m realistic and know that this will probably change nothing. I just read this post and needed to vent after another horrible experience here

You put out there some of the thoughts that ALLLLL of us have.
The chat thing.. there are only a few people who come up with an interesting opener. this get my attention. AND yes, if you dont get a response or we stop responding we probably wont. It's not always you. I babysit and sometimes just need ot get up and fix something to eat AND i should tell the person that im talk with that before i go
BUTT if im typing huge blocks of text and yoiu reply with one line.... done.
-
I feel lucky because because i have guys who treat me like an object and a fantasy BUT ALSO are willing to talk about my day or theirs. and if others of us were truly honest we would admit that sometimes.... sometimes... we like to be treated like an object and appreciate or loved for how we are now. (maybe not... but sometimes i do.)
I'm also lucky because i dont many haters at all and no one has ever been rude. not even in the slightest.

Thank you again for putting into text what more of us feel.
huGGs




[quote]Noname078:
Where to begin?
I’ve been on this site for over 2 years and uote]

What I find by far the most annoying about this site is that you click on somebody's profile and it's totally blank. Literally nothing, no stats of hight or weight, maybe just age snd location.

People, male and female, whom have apparently been members on FF for years. Yet not a single detail about hobbies, interests, favorite foods or movies, just blank nothing.

Doesn't need to be extremely detailed or well thought out, just take a few minutes to add a tiny bit of personality.

Some of these answers are making me want to ad "ageism" to the list. Maybe I'm touchy because I just turned 50, but a lot of people seem to make a big deal about age. More than is necessary IMO.

We're all adults. If you find someone with similar interests, why not say hi and see if you hit it off? Maybe you meet a friend, encourager, mentor, ally or yenta? (If you're looking for any of that, and not just sex) Why limit yourself? I have met a few ladies in their 30s that I have an awful lot of fun with, I assume they do too since they always greet me or drop an email when they don't see me around. Hell, I even have some guy friends who are younger that I talk to regularly that are fantastic. Give folks a chance, it will make the site work better.

P.S. Shoutout to the young lady with something to the effect of "don't message me if you're 30+, that's just gross" on her profile. Glad you liked my pics (about half dozen of them), stay tuned 😘